She understood me better than my family would probably ever admit. Not because of the impression it gave, but because I didn't think I was very good at it.Īround the same time, my babysitter was letting me wear her daughter's dresses and bought me girls' panties to wear. I loved playing with Tonka Trucks and Hot Wheels, and I also loved to sing and dance, but only when no one was looking or listening. Not with that swish in my little hips! I was effeminate, plain and simple. My mom always said I "walked like John Wayne" but after watching home videos of me as a little kid, it was abundantly clear I did NOT walk like John Wayne. I was quite proud of my ribbon hanging from my ear. In my photo, I'd just won 2nd place in the Hula Hoop contest at my Catholic church's spring picnic. In closing, I'd like to contact anyone with even the closest six degree of separation from Joss Whedon, to let them know the damage has been done ! But I'm sure they couldn't sing a Donna Summer medley worth a shit.
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It's a free pass to be the most interesting person in a group - unless of course someone in that group is a pro wrestler or a trapeze artist, then they are the most interesting person. My message to queer kids today is: being gay is a beautiful thing, and it's a gift. And I also found the true power of being different. I went through a long period of finding friendship with other outcasts who needed companionship. I was proud, and for the first time in my life, I felt unsinkable.īut it took me a long time to learn what "finding my tribe" means. Like all of us, I was gayer, more louder, and draped in as much attention grabbing rainbow as I could find at your local Spencer's gifts. I just didn't know it.īy the time high school rolled around, I decided it was time to drop the facade and I came out at age 16. It's impossible for me to write a coming out story since I've kinda always been out. I was late to school for 6 months because I was afraid to stand at the school bus stop. Taking the school bus filled me with dread. I've been beaten up, chased home, and had things thrown at me. It starts with the tingly feeling you get when you see Jerry O'Connell as the hotter brother in "Sliders" then as the dreamy boyfriend in "Scream 2" and by the time I got to Jerry O'Connell in "Tomcats" - I was GAY! I was James the weird kid for years, up until the weird started to bleed over into the queer. Sure, nobody came to my birthday parties - but that's because every February 19th a plague hit my class.Īnd suddenly, I was now "Weird James" at school. Sure, nobody played with me at recess - but that's because I didn't play sports. See, I was always a tad odd, but in my own way, I felt I was charming.
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Right?īut this incident led to the first crack in the foundation of my childhood innocence. Nope, I got thrown into the principal's office, and got a weekly visit to the school psychologist - for making a joke? Sure it was crass and bluer than my usual material, but I was just an up and coming comedian. Needless to say this, didn't win me any People’s Choice Awards.
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I took the offending frankfurter out of its bun and presented it to him aside my crotch and quoted David Arquette word for word, a performance I think even he would of been proud of. Well, I decided wouldn't it be hilarious to do the same thing to my friend Connor at lunch one day.
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I remember Kristy gets harassed by David Arquette, who takes a hot dog off of Kristy’s plate and holds it to her crotch and asks: “Buffy are you hungry?”Īnd she slices it clean off with a butter knife! I watched it constantly, wearing out the VHS tape my parents ripped off HBO. The film starred Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry (the world's oldest high schooler, but boy was he dreamy).
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But then I watched "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" - the movie, not the TV series - but that also proved to be quite influential. You see, I was once a young, well behaved Catholic school boy. But there's still a possibility that I might have ended up a lawyer or a UFC fighter. Five years after this photo, when I was age 8, Joss Whedon ruined my life.